I learned to drive today. well basically on an automatic. haha. good thing i didn’t run over anyone haha
I learned to live. to breathe. to have fun. to trust. and to just really live by faith. no money today, but God provided :)
and then i remember how nice it feels to look up at the sky and just stare and be amazed at God’s creation. The clouds. the moon. the sunset. it’s all beautiful Lord. it all is. and i love seeing You in all of this. i love having You with me through all of this. and i’m thankful You’re holding me still…. :>
i have this crazy mentality that i’ve been unlearning—- you have to be so extremely actively participating in ministry to get closer to God, to please Him and be that “ideal” Christian.
This semester has been a turning point for me. No song leading for both Jzone Elevate and Thirstday (except for a few exemptions-180 and Vesper). But i’ve been so used to always being there at the front lines, singing my heart out for God and making sure i put ministry above other extra curricular, sometimes even over school and my family—- coz it made me feel God and i were really tight.
I’m unlearning that now. Sometimes you can feel so close to God even when you’re just watching the rain, or taking leisurely walks talking to Him. I actually love those random moments with God— where i’m not really doing anything, or any work, or any ministry—- but i feel perfectly happy with Him. and i’m learning that it’s ok :)
I do miss my ministry before, but even when God took that one away temporarily, He gave me new things to do for Him; although most of them are behind the scenes, something different from always being seen, i’m actually loving it. And at least this way i can check my motives, not for the applause of men, rather for the audience of One!
I’ve found myself isolated from people more often that before these days. but it’s also a good thing, (1) it leaves me with more one on ones with God and (2) it makes me appreciate my friends all the more.
I guess it’s just something i need to understand more and more, that all God really needs and wants is me-not the things i do, just me. my heart. my all :)
When I first met Christ It seemed as though life was rather like a bike ride, But it was a tandem bike, And I noticed that Christ Was in the back helping me pedal.
I don’t know just when it was that He suggested we change places, But life has not been the same since.
When I had control, I knew the way, It was rather boring, but predictable… It was the shortest distance between two points.
when He took the lead, He knew delightful long cuts, Up mountains, and through rocky places, At breakneck speeds, It was all I could do to hang on! Even though it looked like madness, He said, “Pedal”
I worried and was anxious and asked, “Where are you taking me?” He laughed and didn’t answer, And I started to learn to trust.
I forgot my boring life And entered into the adventure. And when I’d say, “I’m scared,” He’d lean back and touch my hand.
He took me to people with gifts that I needed. Gifts of healing, acceptance, and joy. He said, “Give the gifts away; They’re extra baggage, too much weight.”
So I did, I gave them to the people we met, And I found that in giving I received, And still our burden was light.
I did not trust Him, at first, In control of my life. I thought He’d wreck it; But He knows bike secrets, Knows how to make it bend to take sharp corners, Knows how to jump to clear high rocks, Knows how to fly to shorten scary passages.
And I am learning to shut up and pedal in the strangest places, And I’m beginning to enjoy the view And the cool breeze on my face With my delightful constant companion, Jesus Christ.
And when I’m sure I just can’t do anymore, He just smiles and says…
“People think life with Jesus is boring, that it’s all too orderly, too strict, too many rules to follow… but looking at my life right now, i know it’s FAR from boring. People who don’t even know God do not have any right to label Him as such—— get to know Him first, then i dare you to call Him boring.”—DJ Villanueva (2009) (via rosstherunner)
you make me feel so insecure—- you expect so much, and i know i can’t always deliver. but you know just how to put it to my face that HECK YEAH YOU FAILED ME.
…and then i’m reminded that I can go to Jesus AS I AM. Even when i mess up. I know I’m always welcome. Jesus does not shove our sins into our faces and gloat saying HA I DIED FOR THIS. He just says i love you, just as you are, I love you, even when you fail, simply cause I LOVE YOU…
You hurt me a lot. but you remind me of God’s grace to me. and i’m just glad i have Him.
When we fall in love, the brain releases a chemical called phenylethylamine (PEA) which causes our palms to sweet, our hearts to race, and “butterflies” in our stomachs. It’s possible to trigger someone else’s brain to release PEA by looking at them a lot during a conversation, which in turn makes that person more likely to fall in love with you.
I find myself in the position of being one of those who fail to see the silver lining God shows me in a storm. It’s like no way God. NO WAY… this is not for me right? it’s not. it can’t be. i don’t You really want me to be happy with this. maybe it’s a test? maybe this maybe that. GAH. haha. it’s established. I OVER ANALYZE that i miss out on just being still and appreciating what God gives…
Lord teach me to be still…. teach me to just be grateful. Because YOU are beautiful regardless of what You do for me… and i want to just be thankful and fall more in love with You when You do all these things for me….
God asked me today why it is that people have a hard time believing things that are good, things that are beautiful and simple and magical. We’d believe a couple who’s been madly in love with each other for 5 years can separate much easier than we’d believe they can get back together and be better.
Hmmm. Tragic cynical human nature.
We rob the joy off our lives by concentrating on the unfortunate events that have already happened or have not yet happened and might never happen.
We often think that the beautiful things often have a price. A price we cannot pay. Indeed, we cannot. It’s already been paid for.
Sad, jaded, imperfect, complicated things are the stuff that makes masterpieces, best selling books and critically acclaimed movies.
I wonder when there will ever be a hailed Filipino movie that isn’t about poverty, or a gender-biased society or crime and prostitution. I wonder if there will ever be a book that would be loved simply because it takes your mind off into another world where you are free. I wonder.